Musical Friday – Jesus Freak


DC Talk – Jesus Freak

A church Oppa I knew was the one who introduced this group to me. We used to exchange emails, and talk about different music. When he moved to Korea to study medicine at Yonsei, he would periodically attach music to emails to check out. He has a younger sister, but he liked having another lol. So much time has passed. He married a lovely lady, and has a little girl himself.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, despite how much I did like this group, it doesn’t seem to have made its way onto the blog. Scandalous.

This one popped up again recently, as I had a random talk with some girls I know. One is 25, and the other 28. At one point, we talked about religion. Normally a difficult topic to discuss. It was fine…until one of the parties forgot that I had mentioned I was technically (don’t get me started on this…but we will leave that word there for now) Christian, and went on a what I like to label as a tirade. The thing is, I know she didn’t mean to put it in the ways that she did. I also understand that we all have our own opinions. I also know that we can criticize in a way that does not challenge the mental ability of a person because of their beliefs. I have had discussions in the past with my best friend who is Muslim, and with another who is Atheist. With those, we could conclude by pondering the points that the others have made. The challenge in that way, was to help us reflect in the way that we act and follow in our own beliefs. I’m never upset in these situations, since we pose in a way that is not to challenge your intelligence, no matter how absurd it might seem.

So, it was interesting to have been challenged in a different way.

The conversation still resonates with me. (I wrote  this a few months back, and honestly still lingers in my mind. It isnt easy seeing people you like in a different light.)

It’s funny how our standings change from one point in life, to another. Which is why I keep thinking back to this song. How I used to be when I heard this first, and how it is now.

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Musical Friday – Habits


Maria Mena – Habits ft. Mads Langer
A song I heard while I was in Okinawa. I was at Starbucks, and desperately trying to catch this song on Shazzam. It was hard. But, did it in the end.

Love that the two vocals play together.

Guys, have you done something out of necessity, rather than desire?
I guess if I put it that way, we all have.
I’m going to have to do something out of necessity, rather than desire. I know it sounds silly, but I truly believed 2017 was my year. Then this and that happened at the end of 2016, which…messed up everything for 2017. But the year just started, how can it mess everything up?! It can. So…2018 will have to be my year. But, as I get older, it gets harder and harder to really want to do that which is motivated by passion.

I was at a friends house a little while ago, and it was just amusing. I loved seeing everyone. But, the way that the conversation was steered. For example, basically out of 10 topics, I could contribute to only 2. Which isn’t a bad thing, and in no way was I pressured. However, my inner self won’t let me stop comparing.

Anyway, I heard the same points I heard last time. But, if I think about money, this is the best option for me at this time. Hopefully this will prep me better for 2018, rather than being in debt for too long. I just finished off paying my undergrad, and college debt from my first round.

Winding down D-31

Yesterday marked the end of my teaching obligations. I have to go into work for one more week. Just to help out with the transition, as a lot changes next week.

Then, I’ll have a week to do all the major things that I want to do in Korea. It’s nice cause I also rented out the room for an additional week. After that, I will be living from a small backpack. Let’s also hope I can find a coin operated washing machine in the city…I actually don’t know if they exist…

But, this is not the point of the post.

Yesterday, I popped into work. Though I am done teaching, I needed to clean up my classroom, and wanted to see the younger kids I taught for a year and a half.

I also dropped off a box of cookies for one of the classes, as they had asked for them 3 months ago, and I didn’t get a change to give them. I ensured that I brought back an extra box just for them when I was back in Toronto in October.

So, I saw M and R.
They were so cute. The R started crying, which made me tear up. I told her that today was not the day to cry, since she would see me for one more week. So, let’s cry next week instead. She agreed.

But, she said…

“Esther teacher, I miss your words!!!!!”
“What do you mean?”
**clings onto my arm…**
“Say, ‘FAIL, Kiddos…’ pleassseeeeeee…”
“What?!”
“I miss those words…they way you said it! PLEASE!”
“Fail…”
“Not like that teacher, like the way you say it when I dropped my cookie before.”
**Now I am laughing…**
“Omg R you are so weird!”
“M, she said weird!, I forgot that one, I missed that one too”
**Both girls are nodding, and giggling at this point**
“Omg…Faaaaiiiiilllll…”
“YAY!”
**R does her happy dance**
“Now I feel like I can live xD”

This made me laugh so hard.
I know if I said this back home to a student, I’d be reprimanded. However, they know I don’t mean it in that way. They know my sayings are terms of endearment. Things I would only say if I loved them. And I do.

I know it was my fault. I just didn’t want to work the crazy schedules of holding 3 different positions. But, I know that I stayed in that position, I would have stayed until February, or at least before the summer.

That was my fault.

How do I know this?

Cause of the interactions like this.
They bring me a side clutching laugh, and happy memories.

D-31

Night time thoughts…

Is started typing this, but I couldn’t find a way to condense it.

Back in high school, I lost a teammates ring during softball practice. We were practicing for the tournament that was coming up (I played centre, and third base).

Grandmas ring that was given to her before she passed.

You see, you shouldn’t wear rings in the event of an accident, and your fingers swell/cut off circulation. So, she popped it into my pant pocket. Unfortunately I didn’t know there was a hole, can you believe it?!

We were all over the field for practice. I skipped classes & spent 3 hrs combing that field, praying that we didn’t stomp it into the soil. I eventually found it. But with consequences.

Currently trying to do something similar right now with life. I’m persistent…but I find that as I’ve gotten older, I give up faster than I used to. I think that is also why I’m thankful I have people around me who push me, encourage me when I get down.

Thank you.
In the last 3 years, you have no idea how much your interactions, no matter how little, have been for me.

Trying to remember my blessings, and trying to stay optimistic.

As a side note, I desperately wanted to be on the school softball team. I went to tryouts with a broke toe. I actually ran laps around the field near my house. I worked on footwork to try and be more responsive. I was proud when I made it. I was lucky that I was able to throw further, and more accurately than most of the other girls.

To my dear HJ…

Today is your special day.
This last half year hasn’t been easy for you…but you have finally made it.
You are here, and married to your guy.

To say that things will be easy, would be a lie. And you know this.
However, the love that you share, and the understanding that you both possess.
I hope and pray that they will guide you in this new journey together.

Know that I am always here to support you. Since you are Plan A xD

Love you, and I’m so glad that I got to go through this with you.

~012

Ha…Ha

Oh how I wanted to do a Korea Blog like all the others out there…

But, in all seriousness…I just couldn’t.

Though you may read this a lot, I am just underpaid for the amount of work I do. Well, all the teachers in my younger division are.

Normally this wouldn’t be that much of a problem.

I mean, there is a lot of work that I have to do even if I were a teacher back home. A lot of extra time that isn’t really clocked.

That isn’t the case here.

Being paid merely for teaching hours, can be brutal.

In addition, the other section doesn’t seem to understand the amount of work that we do.

As someone who splits her time evenly between the two sections, I can speak for both. I get that each has their own difficulties. More behvioural issues with the older, whereas there is more detail common sense situations in the younger.

So, I really hated hearing..”I would rather do ____ cause it is sooooo easy.”

Itchy-B PLEASE.

Please. Please do my job for a week, and let us see how you turn out.

Now…

The reason I cannot sleep tonight…
is because a change is upon me.

After a month, I shall be promoted to a position. Usually this would mean something completely different in the bigger chain. However, it just means more hours added to what I am doing.

The thing is, I was excited to be offered it.

Why? Especially when I knew I had to work more hours.

The fact is, in the last 6 months, the direction of things had taken a turn for the worse. The previous holder of the position, failed to maintain the duties of their job.

As such, the Principal has been kept in the dark about the issues that have gone on within.

The previous holder, has received all this extra money…just to glorify themselves, rather than work for the greater good.

I get that not everyone can, or should want to work for the greater good.

I also get that not everyone sees this as a profession.

But the disrespect was something that was difficult to swallow.

Why didn’t I mention this sooner to the higher ups?

I did when I had an issue that the previous holder. I called them out on their BS “job”.
I then pulled our Principal out for coffee at a coffee store, and had to turn everything out.

I reassured him that this wasn’t because I wanted the job, rather that I would rather the party be held accountable for the position that they were supposed to have been doing. To settle my frustrations, I was told that one person was already being cultivated to replace the individual when they left.

Fast forward to now.
The other new party still needs time to adjust. As such, I am the best option at the moment.

Which is why I accepted the position.

Failing to remember to negotiate a proper increase in pay to cover the additional work I would be doing with the new responsibilities. My friend already worries about me -____-

I spent some time researching, but failed to come up with a salary range for the position OTL

But, I want the students to benefit from the place as much as we can offer to them. At the rate that we are going right now, there is not much we can offer them…if we factor in the issues caused by others.

So, I need to overhaul the system. Rather, I need to restore it back to what is was 6 months before.

Yes, this place might be in the money making business…but as long as I am there, I am putting my students first. I won’t disrespect my students by bribing them/buying their love. I won’t strive for the superficial ratings. I would rather build a firm ground, where they can understand that I am working for them as a student. Not them, as a money maker.

We will see how things go.

For now, I just need to hang in for 4 more weeks, 3 if you include the fact that I will be back in Toronto for a week.

Prayers, or any other experience/guidance is always welcome :)

Attempting to revive the semi dead blog…

Hello Folks!

I am alive :)
If you follow me on Instagram, you already knew this.

In any case, I am alive…and relatively well.

I was in Toronto for a week on some personal matters, and still adjusting my sleep schedule back to KST (Korean Standard Time). As such…it is 6:23am over here, and I am still awake OTL

Well, it has been 5.5 months since I have entered Korea.

Am I homesick? Well, no. I can’t really be since I got to visit home. But even as I was heading home, I was ready to come back to Korea. Of course I missed my close friends (and lucky for me I got to see them all at least twice), but I am rather enjoying the freedom that comes with working abroad. It almost makes me wish I had a desk job. One that would allow me to travel to different sister branches.

Almost.

But not quite.

I still know that this isn’t something I want to do for the long run. I do have to return home. I have some things I need to get done. However, for the next 7 months, I hope that things will continue to go well.

How are you?

I have been horrible with keeping up with my fav blogs, which I hope to rectify soon.

I have also been horrible with keeping up my own blog…which I also hope to rectify soon.

In any case, I am alive, and well.

So…
Hope you are too :)

I leave you with this BEAUTIFUL engagement capture. Can’t wait to meet this talented duo in the fall.

John & Veronica Photography (Toronto)